My Gran

 

Gran has been a very special person in my life. I've been very blessed to have three of my grandparents in my life all the way into my mid 30's. I don't have any friends my age that still have more than one grandparent. Well, Grandad has been gone for almost three years and Gran's decline is rapidly picking up speed. It was amazing that she survived what happened to her in March - but she did. It was amazing that she finally snapped out of her "I hate my family for what they are doing to me" mode - but she did (for the most part).

She's finally accepted not being able to drive. She still has home health care seeing her three days a week. I got her on mobile meals. BUT, since she came home from the hospital on June 15th - she's lost another 10 pounds. She has not been taking her medicines (and there are A LOT) - including a nitro patch for her heart. I remind her every morning and my dad reminds her every night... to no avail.

Well, dad had to come back AGAIN this past Thursday and we took her to Dr. Jackson. Her bp was 190/140. Dr. Jackson really gave it to her telling her she would have more than likely had a stroke that night had she not come in. Dr. Jackson reviewed the month of notes and information from the home health care agency and determined that she is no longer capable of living unsupervised.

We hired a neighbor that lives a few condo's down from Gran to go in the morning and evening M-F - and to oversee her taking her meds - then I will do it on the weekend. This is just a temporary solution until my dad can get her into a nursing home in North Carolina. Dad and Marilyn argued with me for a few months concerning this but she needs to be closer to him. He's made 8+ trips since March... I've lost count. I've been really impressed with how he's tried to manage her care... much better than with Grandad. BUT, I've seen it take a toll on him too and he can't keep doing it.

Today was really good in some ways though. We took her to Kingston to see Jack and Sue, my grandfather's brother and his wife. I will never be able to thank them enough for what they did for Gran... allowing her to stay in her home. They purchased her condo when my grandfather passed away and have allowed her to live there rent free for the past three years. We had lunch at their beautiful home and Jack got on a roll telling us stories from the past. He had us laughing with tears in our eyes... great memory.

Then this evening, we picked up Shirley, the minister who married Don and I and one of Gran and Grandad's oldest friends - and the six of us went to Katie's favorite restaurant... of course - OUTBACK. Most kids her age want McDonalds, Chuckie Cheese or something along those lines. Katie wants HOT buffalo wings at outback with a sweet potato. ACK! Not quite sure how her stomach does it.

Shirley, Jack and Sue all saw Gran three weeks ago and all three couldn't believe the decline in just those three short weeks. Her short term memory has been an increasing concern and problem for months but now her long term memory is crumbling too.

It's broken my heart this weekend. I litterally see her declining every day. Every day her memory is worse. On Wednesday when the home health care nurse was concerned about her - she couldn't even remember my name.

Growing old in America without substantial assests is not a fun thing to watch. I've obtained every possible service out there - but so many have been cut in the past year.

The day she leaves for North Carolina is going to be very hard. She has been so frustrating over the past years - but you love people through the frustration.

This has been hard on Katie too. I've tried to be as careful as possible in all this with Katie because she analyzes everything so much and then obsesses about it... but she loves Gran so much.

So do I.

LA :(