It's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get back up

Vince Lombardi once said that. Well, today I definitely "got up". Finally, I think I've turned a corner! :)

My wonderful, loving husband back in early January got on the Nike+ website and custom designed a pair of nike's for me. They are pink and black - my favorite! They even have my name on them. Well, what is so special about these custom designed nike's... they work wirelessly with your iPod.

On top of that - it turns your iPod into a pedometer and an exercise analyzer tracker thing. I couldn't wait to get started!!!

I went on a mile walk in 17 minutes! :) YAY! Go me! I can't wait to go again tomorrow. I've made the coolest workout playlist that has very upbeat music to keep me going and motivated!

This thing is so smart it told me exactly to the minute how long I walked, exactly how far, how many calories I burned (you have to set it up with all your stats) and it will even let you establish goals! It's amazing!

Don't I have the best husband!?

Today was Wednesday Weigh Day! I'm down a total of 56 lbs.

I'm still having a little difficulty with the big vitamins but I'll get there!

More later! :)
LA

A Brand New Day

Well, a lot has happened since my last post one week ago. I apparently pulled a muscle or two in my abdomen. I think I talked about when it happened in a previous post... anyway - I went to my family doctor last Wednesday to get a B12 shot and they mashed and poked around on my abdomen making it much worse. They did an x-ray that didn't show anything... leaving me with the diagnosis of a pulled muscle.

I couldn't take any muscle relaxers or anti-inflammatory meds - I can never take those again. I'm actually suppose to be wearing a medic bracelet stating that I am allergic or CAN NOT have NSAIDS (non steroidal anti inflammatory meds).

Unfortunately, after Wednesday, my pain worsened and worsened. Finally, on Friday after it got so bad that I was getting nauseous again... Dr. Boyce ordered a CT Scan to make sure that I had not developed another abscess.

I went and had the CT Scan and it didn't show anything... so I was back to a pulled muscle but at least mentally - I wasn't worried anymore.

I took Sat & Sun and kept moist heat on it and felt tremendously better by Monday.

The thing that gets discouraging is - I truly feel like I take three steps forward and two steps back. I start to get a little caught up on things and then BAM! and I'm behind again.

Don did the sweetest thing... he got me those nike walking shoes that tie in with your ipod for valentines. They are awesome!! They are pink and black and have my name on them. Totally customized! He's always being so thoughtful. They came today and I was like "yikes, what am I gonna get him for valentines day?"

And, I just realized - it was 17 years ago tonight that Don and I met on a blind date at Hamburger Hamlet in Bethesda, Maryland. That is just crazy to me! We never ordered food and we were there when they closed the place... we just sat there talking and drinking diet coke.

Katie has been very focused on being with me and staying with me since this whole ordeal began.

We had the best time this afternoon working on her valentines cards for her class party tomorrow. It was so neat seeing her be so careful to pick the right valentine card for the right friend and then be like "eh, whatever" for the the few that maybe aren't so much friends.

Anyway... tomorrow I weigh! Here's hoping there is some encouraging news from the tanita scale!

More later!
LA :)

Three steps forward - two steps back

Well, I make progress in one area and then another area goes backwards. *sigh*

I have now lost 53 lbs. I am taking anti-anxiety medicine that has helped drastically with my gagging. I've now been able to start taking my BIG vitamins (except the chewable calcium) and I've been continuing to broaden my scope of foods I can try.

I went to the farm this past Saturday and worked with Belle and spent some time with Sunny. Things appeared to be on the upswing...

Then I was doing something as simple as sorting laundry Sunday afternoon and I leaned over and *WHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA* an excruciating sharp pain through the left side of my abdomen.

The sharp pain immediately went away but the dull soreness has remained and last night and today got worse. Dr. Boyce thinks that I pulled a muscle. My abdomen muscles that were cut and not used for over a month are going to be tender and I've got to go slow getting them built back up.

Who would have thought sorting laundry....?

Outside of that - it's all about labels now. Priority is sugar, then carbs, then protein. I have to have at least 60g of protein, 60g of carbs and try to keep the sugars as low as possible.

I've had a really hard time finding software or nutritional analysis devices that include sugars... that's so frustrating!

More later!
LA :)

WOW, She's a jumper!!

I had a rough time toward the end of last week. The problem that I was experiencing with my gag reflex and dry heaves continued to get worse and it was zapping me and also getting me down.

I saw Dr. Boyce on Friday. Everyone was very excited about my weight loss. He cautioned me that I would not continue to loose AS fast - it was so fast in the beginning because my BMI was so high. My BMI is down 10 points. He and Kelly (exercise physiologist) both estimated that my weight loss would average 12-14 lbs a month for the next 6 months. That would be approximately 72 lbs and that added to my 51 - that would be 120+ lbs in 7 months. If I can manage that - I will be VERY HAPPY!!!

Anyway - he put me on anti-anxiety meds for a month to see if that will help me get over this gagging thing. He thinks that I developed a food aversion... he thinks I probably had a tendency for that to happen anyway and then what happened to me with the abscess and leak - the pain, etc... that just cinched it. If the anti-anxiety meds don't make progress in two weeks, he wants me to see a therapist.

OK... I've seen therapists to help me deal with Katie better, to help me through grief and loss... but this would be different. "Yes, doctor, I open the refrigerator and I start gagging...". Not sure how that's going to help.

My jackets that wouldn't close - zip or button before - now have room to hid a cat. I have four pairs of jeans that I should no longer be wearing. I went to the grocery store yesterday after going to the farm... it took me almost 2 hours and I had a very organized list. It just takes sooooo long to read and analyze the labels!!! I have to ensure the SUGARS first, then the carbs and then the fat. Sugars will make me sick... so sick, I would wish I was dead. That is what I have heard.... so SUGARS - BAD!!!!

I had my first orange juice this morning. It was diluted 1/3 and it was oj that was already 1/2 the sugar and 1/2 the calories. But let me tell you - I felt like I was transported to a tropical paradise where I was getting a luxury like none other!! It was so yummy!!! I had to go very slow with it though... because it still had like 5gs of sugar and I wanted to be sure it wasn't going to make me sick.

ANYWAY, speaking of the farm a few paragraphs back... BELLE! She is awesome! Already settling in... flirting with all the stallions and geldings. She's beautiful and she teases them because she knows they already love her.

She had shoes that were like WAY too small and Mary and Amy finally got them off of her. Randy, the ferrier, didn't come this week due to the weather but Belle had been laying down a lot so Mary wanted those shoes off her.

After I got her groomed and they got the shoes off - we took her down to the arena and ran her through her gaits. Boy, does she put on a show! Well, Bree (Mary's Australian Shepard) was running her and Belle kept slightly bucking at her. Finally, Bree got on her nerves so bad - she went to kick her and down she went. It was like it happened in slow motion... her feet just all came out from under her. She just rolled over and got right up - acted like a cat... "that DID NOT just happen". She went over to the corner and starred out the pasture as if that was erasing what just happened.

Well then, she was really going at it - beautiful canter and then BAM - over the fence she went! Mary stood there for a second in disbelief and screamed "wow, she's a jumper!!!"

I had to run/walk down to the bottom of the road/driveway to close the gate. Mary and Amy corralled her back into her paddock.

Mary being a champion hunter jumper - immediately found a great big spot for Belle in her heart! :)

I spent some time with Sunny too - which she was very glad of. She gets mare maintenance grain now and she LOVES it!!!

Don and I are bundling up in the morning and going down. Can't wait... I love time when he and I are down there together.

Oh yeah... go COLTS! I sure hope Peyton doesn't choke... he's such a great guy! I'm really gonna be rooting for ya'!

More later...
LA :)

Well, she's here and I've lost 51 pounds

Belle arrived yesterday and come to find out - according to her vet records - she is a Tennessee Walking Horse. This is actually going to be even better than her being a spotted saddle because she is going to be a very comfortable ride with her five gaits. Spotted saddle horses typically only have three gaits.

She arrived well and it was nothing like Sam's arrival. She was calm and immediately started making friends with Oz and Cru. MMMMMM.....? Will we consider breeding her down the road? Possibility. Not too sure Don would go for that. I watched a broodmare giving birth on YouTube the other night and I just sat there and cried. IT was really neat! But, you know me... I'll cry at anything.

Speaking of crying... Boy, did I ever cry with Sam yesterday. I was so excited about Belle's arrival but so very sad to see Sam go. I worked with him so much September-December, the ground work, the round pen work and how could I not get attached to him... but we made the right decision... we never could have safely ridden him. Especially Katie and he was just too short for Don and I.

Speaking of riding... it wont be long before I'll be riding carefree... :) I am down 51 lbs. If I can only loose 20 or so more lbs. before hitting that dreaded plateau. :) I've read that most people that had starting weights around where mine was usually hit a plateau around 70 lbs. and it takes a couple of weeks to get past.

I worked at AC's yesterday for the first time in a month. I'd been working from home while recuperating but yesterday was the first time at his office again. When he saw me... he asked "how long has it been since I saw you? two weeks? your face has really slimmed down... it looks beautiful." You have to understand that AC doesn't throw compliments around... it was nice for him to say.

After leaving AC's - I had a tuna lunch with Don at home and then went to Katie's school to pick her up and then we headed to the farm for Belle's arrival and Sam's departure. Katie played so hard at the farm yesterday - she climbed fences, ran in an open field with Belle (the dog) and played with Coyoty the cat. We left the farm at 4:30 and I was sound asleep last night at 7:30. I slept strait through the night...

I was pooped! :)

More later!
LA :)

Snowmen have hearts? How cool!

Katie's last day at KidsN'Stuff was last Friday. I had planned for her to go another week or two just to give me a little extra time to get stronger but she was struggling with a few mean kids there. Sarah (owner) and Debbie (teacher) would always punish or reprimand these kids (boys) when they were being mean to Katie but there were a few days they called us and she was in tears and unconsolable. So, I wasn't going to keep subjecting her to that.

She is going to have to learn to be strong and not let what other people say to her bother her. In my childhood, I don't remember being picked on or kids being outright mean to me - other than boys being boys. But, Don was chubby and had thick glasses and a speech impetement - so he remembers being picked on all too well.

We are trying so hard to help Katie realize that everyone is different. Even if they seem "normal" on the outside - there is not telling what might be going on that we don't see. We tell her that God made all of us unique, different and special.

Her best friend from pre-school, Jared Grayson, also goes to KidsN'Stuff so Katie is very sad that she wont be seeing him in the afternoons. I am going to try and coordinate with Alesha, his mom, for them to get together occasionally. Jared is an amazing kid. He has a cochlear implant and his speech is VERY delayed but he has a heart of gold and he and Katie just have this bond. Oh yeah, and he's an amazing artist!!

This past summer when Emily got married... after the wedding, Katie was talking about how pretty she was. I told her that one day, she'd be a beautiful bride too. She walked off and did her own thing for about a half hour and came back and announced..."One day, when I'm a grown up and when Jared is a grown up - we will get married". I thought that was precious.

Library day for Katie is on Monday's and she always brings home two books. They are usually books we don't read because the past few months, they've been dinosaur, dragon, fantasy books that have a mean overtone to them and I just refuse to promote that in Katie's immagination.

Sunday night, I asked Katie to get the librarian to help her pick out some great books with nice stories and we would start reading them. Well, she brought home two good books this week. We read one last night and it was about snowmen and how they "come to life each night for a winterfest celebration"...lol! Well, at one point in the story - it was talking about how snowmen have hearts. Katie gasped and squealed, "Snowmen have hearts? How cool!".

She is now calling Don her big cuddly snowman. She insists that I do the same!

Last night was the first night that we all had dinner together. I had pinto beans, boiled chicken and macaroni and cheese. I had like 3 tbsp's of beans, three pasta noodles with melted cheese and two bites of chicken. It was the yummiest food I've had in a month! :)

More later...

LA :)

Well, I weighed yesterday morning and I am down 48 lbs. Don took my measurements on 12/26/06 and then again yesterday and I've lost a total of 15 inches!!!

I made progress yesterday... I ate two servings of tuna and BOY did that ever make me feel better. I also drank some unsweetened tea with sweet and low and BOY did that taste good! I had energy from 9am - midnight! It felt great!!!

Well, before we got any more attached to Sam and now that I am starting to feel like being back out at the farm... we'd been looking online and in the paper for someone who might trade for Sam.

Sometimes, I truly believe that God just works a situation out... I came across a listing two weeks ago for a beautiful Spotted Saddle horse in Science Hill, KY named Belle. The listing stated that she'd been used in therapeutic riding as well as trail riding by adults.

I chatted back and forth with the seller, Connie for the past two weeks. She sent video and pictures. I sent her all the info on Sam - including details of the round pen work I had done with him.

She invited us up to spend the day at her farm yesterday. So, we went. We were actually going to look at several horses that she had for sale with our main interest being Belle.

All three of us immediately fell in love with Belle. She has Sunny's expressive eyes and by the end of the afternoon, she was affectionate with us - just like Sunny. Don rode her for quite a bit... that was fun!

Then Katie rode her bareback on lead line in the barn - she had a huge hallway type area down the middle of the barn. It was amazing... Belle instantly sensed Katie and took slow gentle steps while Katie was on her.

They are bringing Belle to us on Tuesday and picking up Mr. Sam. Katie and I shed some tears last night over Sam going away... but they are going to work with him and find him just the right home. I don't think I ever would have let Katie get on Sam.

So, now in a month or so... Don and I will be able to go trail riding together. Katie and I can go to the farm on the weekends and she can ride Belle (on a saddle) with me managing it lead line.

Sunny will still be my horse, my pride and joy. I will still go to the farm by myself on Mon, Wed & Fri's that I don't have doctors appointments or anything and work with Sunny. But now, Don and Katie will have a horse that they can work with. When Don gets below 200 - he and Katie can ride Belle double. She's use to that.

More later...

LA :)