The Magic Bullet

Isn't everyone it seems looking for "the magic bullet" or the solution to their weight loss efforts? I know I've spent my entire adult life looking for that solution. I tried every diet known to man and after reaching an astounding 333 pounds on a 5'3" frame and having suffered from high blood pressure for two years - on December 27, 2006, I had Gastric Bypass surgery. It was not the "magic bullet" and it was not the easy way out.

I had complications which were serious and they caused me emotional difficulty in adjusting to my new life. I developed a horrible gagging reflex and couldn't down food, liquid protein, etc without gagging or throwing up.

Between being in the hospital an additional two weeks and then this ongoing gagging difficulty - I dropped a dramatic 60-70 pounds the first four months. The first two months, because of being so sick, I had limited activity and lost a lot of muscle tone.

It was hard! I had to fight very hard to get in control of my life, get stronger and make this thing worth it and it took until May 2007 for me to feel like it was worth it.

And last year at Thanksgiving, I was wearing a size 14/16 depending on the clothes and I weighed 189. Everyone was constantly telling me how wonderful I looked, how proud they were of me... almost to the point that I became uncomfortable. I know that sounds odd... everyone loves compliments but I was still embarrassed at the extreme 333 I had come from.

I took my daughter to Disney for her 8th birthday and I out walked, out lasted and out played (no survivor pun there) my skinny, energetic ADHD child all over the place. We had a blast though and I did things that I never could have done before.

I was riding my horse Belle and loving EVERY second of that! It was one of the big motivators to me loosing weight!

I was kayacking in Hilton Head, hiking in the mountains, biking on the beach, boogie boarding, swimming better than ever before, walking 3 miles a day four days a week... getting tons of exercise at the farm.

Then BAM! My life got hard again. Excuses time...My dad was diagnosed with Stage IV Melanoma that spread to his lymph nodes and began the fight of his life. At this same time, my grandmother became incapable of living alone anymore and with my dad so sick, her care and sale of her home became my sole responsibility. And...

Katie is the total ADORATION of my life but every day is a fight for her or a fight with her to keep her level and on track and motivated to be more than all her medical professionals say she can be! I was trying to complete the photography program at UT and get my photography business up and going... it's totally stalled. My eBay business is totally stalled (on purpose). Thank goodness I still have quite a few bookkeeping clients, including a brand new one this week. I think I need to trim the pork off my life activities... where are those John McCain pork knives he promoted on SNL the Saturday night before the election?

So BAM! I didn't have brain surgery - I still had the same brain, same emotions and same way of thinking. I'm horrible at making excuses, putting anything health related off until tomorrow...I'm horrible at having a REALLY BAD day for whatever reason and making the solution... "I know, let's get carryout from a restaurant that has far too many calories - even if you are only eating half a portion and worst of all - eating in front of the TV... but it will make us feel better and we will relax".

I've know that I was spiraling... making excuses... "Why bust my butt to go futher? I can do anything I want to do now, I feel great, so much more healthy than 'before', I can shop for clothes in almost any store now wearing pretty nice clothes, I can wear boots without them being special ordered wide calf boots, I can ride my horse, I'm only one size larger than the average American woman, I have a hard time 'making time' to exercise and plan healthy meals, I love food too much to get to my goal and stay there, I can't get my husband motivated, blah, blah, blah!" I developed complacency and "why bother when I'm already healthier than before" attitudes.

I had tried and failed numerous times to do a 5 Day Pouch Test Diet, that essentially resets your tummy back to where it was several months post-op. I had tried and failed. I went to see my mom in NC for her birthday and she was nice enough to sacrifice her birthday to do the 5 day pouch test with me.

Well, she helped get me through the first three days and I finished up the last two. The first two are liquid and that's the really tough part. It helped drastically! Thank you so much Mom!

So, when I left for my mom's the first of November, I had gotten back up to 203. I couldn't believe that I'd let it happen. I SWORE that I would never leave "one"derland again!! Yet, there I was!! I immediately started seeing myself as before. I'd take off clothes and they looked HUMONGOUS to me!

As of this morning, I'm now back to 198... I thought it was lower but I saw my doctor yesterday and according to her scale... I probably was higher than the 203 the first of November. *sigh* Again I will say, "NEVER AGAIN WILL I BE OVER 200!!"

Making the choice to have WLS is hard. IT IS NOT THE EASY WAY OUT! It's a tool to try and regain control for people who have tried and failed. They tell you going in that it is a tool. You have to make the necessary emotional, health and lifestyle adjustments to have long term results. They tell you that the WLS will only somewhat guarantee getting 75% of your excess body weight off. That's almost exactly to the pound what it did.

Then the realization hit... "when the time came for it to become my part and my responsibility to finish the journey and hit my goal... my part failed". That was very, very hard to come to terms with.

So, very long story short, I started watching The Biggest Loser on that birthday diet weekend with my mom. I came back so motivated that I re-watched the episodes with Don until we got current with this weeks episode.

Good news is - he's more motivated than I have ever seen him! We are fixing to celebrate our 17th anniversary and we've known each other 19 years! That's a long time!!!

The even better news is - we got each other our Christmas presents 45 days early. No little package under the tree for us this year. Don's came on Friday and mine came Monday afternoon.


sorry for the long post....


We first saw these little devices on The Biggest Loser. The show never talked about them that we saw but we started searching on the internet! Bingo! Found it, researched it and ordered it!!

Man, if I would have known that an little electronic gadget would motivate my dear husband Don the way it has... I would have been searching AGES ago for this thing. Best part, it's MAC and %$#@#, I mean PC compatible. Don was at the doctor yesterday too and has lost 7+ pounds since his October 16 visit. Go Don!!

So, this thing has really opened my eyes to how truly hard it's going to be to do this and another thing... I got so use to weight literally falling off me... that is no longer going to be the case. Wearing this is a constant reminder through the day on where you are... makes you think twice before putting something in your mouth.



I wanted to set my goal at 140. My family doctor has other plans. From the beginning, before my surgery, she set it at 160 and said we'd re-evaluate then. So for now, it's 160 and it's going to take a while. My WLS surgeon put my goal at 130-140 and said I would need to have 10 pounds of skin removed. That ain't happening. I never did this to be a 41 year old model or get into a bikini... I did it to get my life back.

I'm only suppose to loose 1-1.5 pounds a week. This is going to be hard because after my WLS, good or bad, pounds just fell off me. I worked hard but nothing like I'm going to have to now! Pounds aren't going to fall off and it's going to take weeks for a five pound loss and I got use to a five pound loss being a weekly thing.

I've actually been emailing back and forth with one of the current Biggest Losers from the Families season. They have been such and inspiration and so supportive via email and a total fan of the Body Bugg and giving me tips.

I had gotten addicted, seriously addicted to Mentos.

MENTOS!!! Those stupid little candies have 10 calories each. A box has 24 pieces - translation 240 calories, not to mention the carbs and I was eating two boxes a day! ARGGHHH!!! Mindless chewing and eating while working, watching TV.... MENTOS!!!

Gum! I've got to become a gum chewer! I think that will help with my ridiculous addition to fruity candy. Before my WLS, it was Skittles! No more!!

So, the Body Bugg... you have a personal coach the first three months via phone and internet. She works with you, along with the advise of your doctor to determine your goals and how to use this little gadget.

I have not had my initial consult with her yet. They like for you to have a weeks worth of data first... so just in how I set it up after talking to my doctor... Goal is: 160 pounds by June 2009. That is a weight loss of 38 pounds at approximately 1.5 pounds a week. So, it put my caloric intake at 1600. I have to have a caloric deficit of 750 calories daily.

My Body Bugg measures my caloric burn from 6am - 11pm daily. It measures my level of activity, the steps I take, the calories that I am burning per minute at any given time and if you are good at tracking your calories via whatever method... you know exactly where you are all day long.

Right now, I'm negative. I had an Thomas Light Wheat English Muffin for breakfast with poached egg, canadian bacon and cheese, 8 oz. of water and 16 oz. of coffee (I KNOW!!!) AND a piece of Extra Sugar Free gum. The caloric intake was 284.

I walked for 20 minutes this morning, uphill all the way and I've burned 986 calories since 6am, walked 2908 steps, etc.

Your daily goals show up on your meter display. If I didn't have the meter display, I would not know until I synced with computer tonight where I stood. But, my meter shows me that my specific goals for calorie intake, calorie burn, minutes of moderate activity level, steps, etc.

So, throughout the day today, I will know exactly where I am in meeting my goals.

Yesterday was a sad, sad day of realization. I worked my butt off at the farm with Belle. I ran, I did a lot of work with her. Then I pushed myself like never before on the treadmill last night walking 3 miles and most of it at a 4.0 incline. Then I did steps and then I did pull ups using the bars on the treadmill. I burned FAR, FAR over my goal of calories to burn and walked 13,889 steps but blew it when it came to the things I put in my mouth.

I did good breakfast and lunch. At the end of lunch, I was only at 520 calories. Then, BAM! Mentos, and a chocolate carmel and pineapple filet. WHAMMY, I blew my deficit goal. I only had a deficit of 420. As hard as I worked, I should have had a deficit of 1000 and I would have had it not been for Mentos, caramel and a steak instead of chicken or fish!

Well, after the longest posting EVER... I'm done! I have appreciated the love and support so much of my family and friends the past two years with my weight loss journey and keeping a journal online. I would appreciate the ongoing support. Because even though I have this nifty little gadget, it's still going to be all up to me and I don't have the best track record.

Ending on a positive note though... I had two packages of Mentos in my car and this morning on my way to a client's - I stopped at a gas station and threw them in the trash can and went inside and got 5 calorie a piece sugarless gum.

By next summer, with Mike's wonderful help (have I mentioned how awesome he is with horses?), I intend to be riding my beautiful horse bareback. That's going to require a big improvement in my upper body strength and a HUGE strengthening of my core!



It's all about goals and today, is the start of something new! Like my new favorite song..."It's A New Day"!!

LA :)