Sunday, November 23, 2008

Thanksgiving With Gran



Victorian Square had their Thanksgiving dinner for all the residents and their families last night. It was such a nice evening! With me having gone to North Carolina and then Katie having pneumonia, we had not seen Gran in three weeks. I was so worried that she wouldn't recognize us because that has been happening lately... where it takes her a minute to register who we are. But, that wasn't the case at all!



We had a lovely evening with her and enjoyed it all. They has "Ms. Rockwood" singing hymns and her mother played the piano. It was funny because my grandmother was "Ms. Rockwood" in 1938 when she was 16 years old. She enjoyed singing the hymns and I enjoyed watching her and it brought back a lot of memories of having gone to church with her over my lifetime.



Don and I did so good sticking to our new way of eating! We are not calling it a diet because it's for the rest of our lives and who wants to be on a "diet" the rest of their lives!? We ate what we knew we could and steered clear of the rest!



Our entire weekend has been so nice! I went to a class at Scrapbooks & More with Lisa yesterday morning and it's always great hanging out with her!

Then today, I had a lesson at the farm with Mike and Belle! I learned some great new stuff! Don is going to be working with him on his new gig with the Bureau of Land Management and the mustang project. Looks like we will be going to Tunica, MS sometime the first of the year to film and photograph a mustang adoption clinic that he will be doing for the BLM. Never been to Mississippi so at least I will be able to check that state off my "never been to" list, right!?

LA :)

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Magic Bullet

Isn't everyone it seems looking for "the magic bullet" or the solution to their weight loss efforts? I know I've spent my entire adult life looking for that solution. I tried every diet known to man and after reaching an astounding 333 pounds on a 5'3" frame and having suffered from high blood pressure for two years - on December 27, 2006, I had Gastric Bypass surgery. It was not the "magic bullet" and it was not the easy way out.

I had complications which were serious and they caused me emotional difficulty in adjusting to my new life. I developed a horrible gagging reflex and couldn't down food, liquid protein, etc without gagging or throwing up.

Between being in the hospital an additional two weeks and then this ongoing gagging difficulty - I dropped a dramatic 60-70 pounds the first four months. The first two months, because of being so sick, I had limited activity and lost a lot of muscle tone.

It was hard! I had to fight very hard to get in control of my life, get stronger and make this thing worth it and it took until May 2007 for me to feel like it was worth it.

And last year at Thanksgiving, I was wearing a size 14/16 depending on the clothes and I weighed 189. Everyone was constantly telling me how wonderful I looked, how proud they were of me... almost to the point that I became uncomfortable. I know that sounds odd... everyone loves compliments but I was still embarrassed at the extreme 333 I had come from.

I took my daughter to Disney for her 8th birthday and I out walked, out lasted and out played (no survivor pun there) my skinny, energetic ADHD child all over the place. We had a blast though and I did things that I never could have done before.

I was riding my horse Belle and loving EVERY second of that! It was one of the big motivators to me loosing weight!

I was kayacking in Hilton Head, hiking in the mountains, biking on the beach, boogie boarding, swimming better than ever before, walking 3 miles a day four days a week... getting tons of exercise at the farm.

Then BAM! My life got hard again. Excuses time...My dad was diagnosed with Stage IV Melanoma that spread to his lymph nodes and began the fight of his life. At this same time, my grandmother became incapable of living alone anymore and with my dad so sick, her care and sale of her home became my sole responsibility. And...

Katie is the total ADORATION of my life but every day is a fight for her or a fight with her to keep her level and on track and motivated to be more than all her medical professionals say she can be! I was trying to complete the photography program at UT and get my photography business up and going... it's totally stalled. My eBay business is totally stalled (on purpose). Thank goodness I still have quite a few bookkeeping clients, including a brand new one this week. I think I need to trim the pork off my life activities... where are those John McCain pork knives he promoted on SNL the Saturday night before the election?

So BAM! I didn't have brain surgery - I still had the same brain, same emotions and same way of thinking. I'm horrible at making excuses, putting anything health related off until tomorrow...I'm horrible at having a REALLY BAD day for whatever reason and making the solution... "I know, let's get carryout from a restaurant that has far too many calories - even if you are only eating half a portion and worst of all - eating in front of the TV... but it will make us feel better and we will relax".

I've know that I was spiraling... making excuses... "Why bust my butt to go futher? I can do anything I want to do now, I feel great, so much more healthy than 'before', I can shop for clothes in almost any store now wearing pretty nice clothes, I can wear boots without them being special ordered wide calf boots, I can ride my horse, I'm only one size larger than the average American woman, I have a hard time 'making time' to exercise and plan healthy meals, I love food too much to get to my goal and stay there, I can't get my husband motivated, blah, blah, blah!" I developed complacency and "why bother when I'm already healthier than before" attitudes.

I had tried and failed numerous times to do a 5 Day Pouch Test Diet, that essentially resets your tummy back to where it was several months post-op. I had tried and failed. I went to see my mom in NC for her birthday and she was nice enough to sacrifice her birthday to do the 5 day pouch test with me.

Well, she helped get me through the first three days and I finished up the last two. The first two are liquid and that's the really tough part. It helped drastically! Thank you so much Mom!

So, when I left for my mom's the first of November, I had gotten back up to 203. I couldn't believe that I'd let it happen. I SWORE that I would never leave "one"derland again!! Yet, there I was!! I immediately started seeing myself as before. I'd take off clothes and they looked HUMONGOUS to me!

As of this morning, I'm now back to 198... I thought it was lower but I saw my doctor yesterday and according to her scale... I probably was higher than the 203 the first of November. *sigh* Again I will say, "NEVER AGAIN WILL I BE OVER 200!!"

Making the choice to have WLS is hard. IT IS NOT THE EASY WAY OUT! It's a tool to try and regain control for people who have tried and failed. They tell you going in that it is a tool. You have to make the necessary emotional, health and lifestyle adjustments to have long term results. They tell you that the WLS will only somewhat guarantee getting 75% of your excess body weight off. That's almost exactly to the pound what it did.

Then the realization hit... "when the time came for it to become my part and my responsibility to finish the journey and hit my goal... my part failed". That was very, very hard to come to terms with.

So, very long story short, I started watching The Biggest Loser on that birthday diet weekend with my mom. I came back so motivated that I re-watched the episodes with Don until we got current with this weeks episode.

Good news is - he's more motivated than I have ever seen him! We are fixing to celebrate our 17th anniversary and we've known each other 19 years! That's a long time!!!

The even better news is - we got each other our Christmas presents 45 days early. No little package under the tree for us this year. Don's came on Friday and mine came Monday afternoon.


sorry for the long post....


We first saw these little devices on The Biggest Loser. The show never talked about them that we saw but we started searching on the internet! Bingo! Found it, researched it and ordered it!!

Man, if I would have known that an little electronic gadget would motivate my dear husband Don the way it has... I would have been searching AGES ago for this thing. Best part, it's MAC and %$#@#, I mean PC compatible. Don was at the doctor yesterday too and has lost 7+ pounds since his October 16 visit. Go Don!!

So, this thing has really opened my eyes to how truly hard it's going to be to do this and another thing... I got so use to weight literally falling off me... that is no longer going to be the case. Wearing this is a constant reminder through the day on where you are... makes you think twice before putting something in your mouth.



I wanted to set my goal at 140. My family doctor has other plans. From the beginning, before my surgery, she set it at 160 and said we'd re-evaluate then. So for now, it's 160 and it's going to take a while. My WLS surgeon put my goal at 130-140 and said I would need to have 10 pounds of skin removed. That ain't happening. I never did this to be a 41 year old model or get into a bikini... I did it to get my life back.

I'm only suppose to loose 1-1.5 pounds a week. This is going to be hard because after my WLS, good or bad, pounds just fell off me. I worked hard but nothing like I'm going to have to now! Pounds aren't going to fall off and it's going to take weeks for a five pound loss and I got use to a five pound loss being a weekly thing.

I've actually been emailing back and forth with one of the current Biggest Losers from the Families season. They have been such and inspiration and so supportive via email and a total fan of the Body Bugg and giving me tips.

I had gotten addicted, seriously addicted to Mentos.

MENTOS!!! Those stupid little candies have 10 calories each. A box has 24 pieces - translation 240 calories, not to mention the carbs and I was eating two boxes a day! ARGGHHH!!! Mindless chewing and eating while working, watching TV.... MENTOS!!!

Gum! I've got to become a gum chewer! I think that will help with my ridiculous addition to fruity candy. Before my WLS, it was Skittles! No more!!

So, the Body Bugg... you have a personal coach the first three months via phone and internet. She works with you, along with the advise of your doctor to determine your goals and how to use this little gadget.

I have not had my initial consult with her yet. They like for you to have a weeks worth of data first... so just in how I set it up after talking to my doctor... Goal is: 160 pounds by June 2009. That is a weight loss of 38 pounds at approximately 1.5 pounds a week. So, it put my caloric intake at 1600. I have to have a caloric deficit of 750 calories daily.

My Body Bugg measures my caloric burn from 6am - 11pm daily. It measures my level of activity, the steps I take, the calories that I am burning per minute at any given time and if you are good at tracking your calories via whatever method... you know exactly where you are all day long.

Right now, I'm negative. I had an Thomas Light Wheat English Muffin for breakfast with poached egg, canadian bacon and cheese, 8 oz. of water and 16 oz. of coffee (I KNOW!!!) AND a piece of Extra Sugar Free gum. The caloric intake was 284.

I walked for 20 minutes this morning, uphill all the way and I've burned 986 calories since 6am, walked 2908 steps, etc.

Your daily goals show up on your meter display. If I didn't have the meter display, I would not know until I synced with computer tonight where I stood. But, my meter shows me that my specific goals for calorie intake, calorie burn, minutes of moderate activity level, steps, etc.

So, throughout the day today, I will know exactly where I am in meeting my goals.

Yesterday was a sad, sad day of realization. I worked my butt off at the farm with Belle. I ran, I did a lot of work with her. Then I pushed myself like never before on the treadmill last night walking 3 miles and most of it at a 4.0 incline. Then I did steps and then I did pull ups using the bars on the treadmill. I burned FAR, FAR over my goal of calories to burn and walked 13,889 steps but blew it when it came to the things I put in my mouth.

I did good breakfast and lunch. At the end of lunch, I was only at 520 calories. Then, BAM! Mentos, and a chocolate carmel and pineapple filet. WHAMMY, I blew my deficit goal. I only had a deficit of 420. As hard as I worked, I should have had a deficit of 1000 and I would have had it not been for Mentos, caramel and a steak instead of chicken or fish!

Well, after the longest posting EVER... I'm done! I have appreciated the love and support so much of my family and friends the past two years with my weight loss journey and keeping a journal online. I would appreciate the ongoing support. Because even though I have this nifty little gadget, it's still going to be all up to me and I don't have the best track record.

Ending on a positive note though... I had two packages of Mentos in my car and this morning on my way to a client's - I stopped at a gas station and threw them in the trash can and went inside and got 5 calorie a piece sugarless gum.

By next summer, with Mike's wonderful help (have I mentioned how awesome he is with horses?), I intend to be riding my beautiful horse bareback. That's going to require a big improvement in my upper body strength and a HUGE strengthening of my core!



It's all about goals and today, is the start of something new! Like my new favorite song..."It's A New Day"!!

LA :)

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I promise

to blog tonight or in the morning about the "bugg"! I've gotten a lot of emails asking me about it!

I had a very long talk today with my family doctor! I will be blogging about that and the bugg... promise!

Thanks for the interest!

Love,
LA :)

One of my favorites got eliminated

I was so sad... in tears actually! Coleen was eliminated from The Biggest Loser last night! She's 15 years younger than me but has been such an inspiration! Her determination in workouts was over the top. I will be anxious to see her progress at the season finale!!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Throwing Down The Gauntlet

gaunt·let 1 also gant·let (gôntlt, gänt-)
n.
A challenge: throw down the gauntlet; take up the gauntlet.


So, here is the deal! I used this blog from December 27, 2006 until last Thanksgiving to chronicle my weight loss journey and it helped me to be accountable for loosing the 144 pounds that I lost!

But then what happened? I got into size 14/16 clothes which I had not done as an adult! I was doing things that I never thought I'd do. My trainer was telling me I was fine riding Belle at my current weight! I felt great! I still had a love for food... so why kill myself to go any further...?

Well, after a year of making excuses I am fed up with myself! I had weight loss surgery and could have died as a result of complications and yeah, I'm a heck of a lot better or now than I was two years ago... but I'm still considered obese! I may be a size 14/16 and 14 maybe the size of the average American woman but still being considered obese when I went through what I went through just wont do!

I've told friends and family for a year... if I could just get to 180 or sometimes I'd say 175... going on to say "I may make it to my goal weight but I wont stay there... I love food too much"!

ARGGHHHH!!! What is wrong with me!? Loving food too much is what put me in critical condition with complications from Gastric Bypass Surgery! Love food too much!!

So, it's taken me an entire month to get psyched - mentally! It took my mom helping me do that dog gone 5 day pouch diet (on her birthday no less) that I'd tried and failed at 5 times before. It took me getting totally hooked on The Biggest Loser and seeing their determination and dedication to truly changing their lives...

So it's on! I'm done making excuses! I will not gain weight during Thanksgiving! I will not gain weight during Christmas! I will loose weight between now and January 1, 2009. Forget New Years Resolutions! I have a "right now resolution"!!

I will exercise every day because I have total accountability again with my husband, my blog, my family, my friends and my new BUGG!

I'll blog about it (the "Bugg") tomorrow!

LA :)

Monday, November 17, 2008

Katie Is Better... Finally!

She still didn't go to school today but hopefully she will be back tomorrow. Fever is gone but the cough lingers... you know with pneumonia that is typically the case!

I hate it when she is sick... especially when she is really sick. She has a harder time than the average person of fighting illness. Hopefully things are almost back to normal.



Gizmo has turned out to be such a great little cuddle buddy. He loves Katie... at least he loves Katie when she isn't trying to "make" him do something!



If she would just relax and read her books, play with her little electronic games - just hang out... this is what Gizzie does... he loves it!!











He is so lovey!! He has the loudest purr box EVER and he loves to hunt his toys and bring them to you and drop them at your feet! Thank goodness so far - it's only been toys and nothing "alive".

He has a leopard fur string with feather toy that he LOVES! The other night - Don was at a wedding and "clink, clank, noises coming up through the dark house..." It was Gizzie dragging that dog gone leopard fur toy up to our bedroom!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Turns Out...

that Katie has pneumonia! Bless her heart... Dr. Y felt so bad that she didn't do an xray on Wednesday but her cough was dry and raspy then so she didn't think for a minute that it was pneumonia.



She has gotten on average... like two hours of sleep every night this week. She's exhausted and so are we. At least she is home and not in the hospital. The pneumonia is only in the bottom part of her right lung so at least it didn't get worse... because anything like this is far worse with Katie than the typical child.

She got some neat surprises delivered to her today... it really brightened her spirits. She's never gotten balloons and flowers and stuffed animals delivered except on birthdays... THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS! It was funny - the guy from West Knox Florist called me at 3:40 and said "I have another delivery... do you think there is anyone else that may place an order for your house today?" He'd already been here earlier.

We have wonderful family and friends!

LA :)

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

It's WAY too early for this!!!

I have one sick little girl this week!! I know I was fighting off something yucky last weekend and I took some of Don's left over antibiotics (I know, I know!) and amazingly for me - fought it off!

Not so lucky for Katie! She is sick! Yucky, coughing her head off, feels like total crap sick! She's running a fever, coughing so bad she isn't sleeping well at all... and to top it all off - she's coming off one of her "I can't sleep" cycles... so the poor kid is exhausted. She has puffy eyes and purple circles!



I want her to feel better!!

I'm already fighting a serious case of the winter blahs! That really makes me sad! It's only November 12th. Usually, I don't get the winter blahs until January, after Christmas when winter really feels like it has set in.

But, it's been cloudy and gloomy all week since Sunday and with her sick - it's just ... for lack of a better word.... YUCKY!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Such An Inspiration

It took me a while to get into this show. I've been stuck for an entire year now... averaging right around 192-195. Here is one of the people who is inspiring me to get my butt in gear and get the rest of this done...

Amy P. from Greenville, SC. She showed such determination on the show and she and her husband have a young child with special needs that led to a lot of their late night "emotional eating"... I can totally identify with that hurdle.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Such A Great Day With Family

Okay, so yesterday I totally felt like I was getting sick. I'm just run down because I've been going non-stop since before our trip to Key Largo - with full days every day and then I had my great trip to North Carolina last weekend.

But we had plans with Don's family this weekend and I was so determined not to miss out and I'm so glad that I took enough cold medicine and antibiotics to stay on top of it enough to have been a part of the fun last night and today!!

Mom, Joyce, Robin (Don's cousin), her fiance, David and her two sons, Blake (8) and Hunter (6) came down yesterday and we had dinner at Outback last night! Guess who picked the restaurant? Katie! You know her and those Outback Kookabura Wings! Well, she instantly hit it off with Blake and Hunter! We had a great time at dinner!

We got back together today and Joyce took the kids to Toys R Us and gave them each a little shopping spree. She let them pick out any toy (within a certain budget) that they wanted. Katie was quite thrifty and shopped the entire store and came away with four boxes of toys - she got this Animal Planet electronic encyclopedia thing that has add on's of all kinds of groups of animals!

Then Don took Joyce, Mom, Robin and David to the mall to help Joyce pick out a new computer! Guess where!? Like any good Apple junkie... the Apple store of course. Joyce now has a 20" iMac on it's way to her house.



While they went to the mall - I took the kids to the park! It was such a nice day and we had so much fun!!



Katie, Blake & Hunter had such a great time at the park. Katie was a pro at the monkey bars and that made Blake and Hunter determined to get all the way across and they did!!



I haven't been around Blake and Hunter before last night but I already just love them! They are great little guys! So well behaved and they were just great with Katie! They looked after her and treated her like a sister! She's going to enjoy having these cousins in her life!



When they got done at the mall - we met back up together at the hotel and the kids quickly changed and hit the pool! They were staying at the Holiday Inn Select which has a very nice indoor pool. That's where we spent the rest of the day! The kids swam and played their hearts out! I think GrandSue did too! ;)



Katie has a Grandmom (my mom) and Grandma (Dad's wife, Marilyn) and a Gran and she and we had been referring to Sue as Grandma Sue and I didn't like that. It sounded impersonal. But this week when we told Katie that Grandma was coming down, she said "which one". So, today Katie came up with GrandSue. And Sue seemed to like it so GrandSue it is.



I think everyone got hungry so Joyce got serious about ordering some serious food! She got like five pizzas, breadsticks, several orders of wings - a ton of food! The kids were very happy! Katie of course dove into the wings!



I think since Robin has two boys - she enjoyed being around Katie and since we have no boys - I loved being around Blake and Hunter. I'm so happy that with Sarah and Jacob half way around the world - Katie has some family in her life that is her age again!! Katie really enjoyed Robin too!



We also really enjoyed getting to know David! He has a great sense of humor and is so laid back and easy going! I'm excited for he and Robin and them starting their life together!



I am so thankful that we've moved past hard feelings and being hurt. I know that after having spent some special times together - especially now with the kids that none of us will let things separate us again in the future. Family is too important and I'm thankful that we've reconnected! It was a great weekend together and I'm looking forward to more great times very soon!

LA :)

Saturday, November 1, 2008

This would be me on the bobcat!

It was like learning to drive a funky stick shift all over again but I got the hang of it!!

 
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Did I Mention The Angry Bull?

 

This would be the beast!
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Such A Great Time With My Family

So, today I had a great day with my family in North Carolina. It was not easy getting here - but once I did - it was a great day! I drove a bob cat and moved a pile of dirt, I drove a big John Deere tractor AND I hung out with a VERY angry holstein bull that weighs about 2500 pounds. Good stuff!!

Seriously - these things were all fun but the best part was all the laughter!

 
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And guess what I found out?

They actually paint some of these PINK!!! :)


 
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See, I am meant to live on a farm!

 
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