Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Please pray for my dad

He had his surgery this morning and it went wonderfully according to the doctor. However, his surgical oncologist says that it is not good that the cancer has recurred at what they call a "distant recurrence" and he is surprised that my father survived a year. He said that because of this recurrence it will most likely continue to spread.

They are going to send the tumor that they removed from his stomach off to try and come up with a designer chemo to treat it. The success rate for this is less than 10%.

The odds are closing in on my pop so please keep him in your prayers!

LA

Monday, March 23, 2009

Just What I Needed

A wonderful day with my great husband and some farm time with Lakota. The weather was beautiful too... so nice and so needed!

This past week has been a little tough... actually a lot tough! We tried a new medicine with KT that did not do well at all and so we've changed back. Dad's visit was hard... because I'm so worried about him. He has his surgery tomorrow. If any of you watch Grey's Anatomy... my father has the very same condition as Izzy... Metastatic Melanoma. Only, it has not spread to his brain... but it is spreading and I'm so concerned for him.



I thought the pre-tax work that I do for my clients this year was going to be a breeze because everything has been incredibly more organized and under control this year but seemingly - that is not the case and I'm working 10+ hour days when I'd much rather be outside.

So, last week was tough. Sleep was rough. Days with Katie should have been fun - It Was Spring Break For Pete's Sake - but it was LONG and hard! The only fun she and I had was a quick shopping trip on Thursday afternoon and a picnic with my good friend Sheila and her two beautiful daughters!

On top of everything else - Lakota got injured last Monday while Dad was still here. Nothing severe but he got hurt and then was in his stall for three days strait because of horrible weather and that made the injury worse.

Then I had a major car repair and I'm not even going to touch on things with Gran... but it isn't good!

So, needless to say I was SOOOOO looking forward to having a nice breakfast with Don this morning and then heading to the farm. I did an hour of ground work with Lakota before the vet arrived at 11am and he is such a quick learner and does so well... except he threw a little horsey temper tantrum today. But just like the terrible twos, it was over almost before it began and I wasn't on his back at the time... so it was OK.

But then, boy, poor Lakota didn't know what hit him. The vet really worked him over. Heavily sedated and still standing, he was injected with a synthetic blister into his "right left" leg. Yes, that is what I told the vet... that it was his "right left" leg that was injured.

The blister will expand and cause pressure on his tendons and muscles, causing them to strengthen. I have to exercise him daily this week from the ground and then I have doctor's orders to try and ride him daily starting next Monday. Those are doctors orders that I can try to abide by! :)

His leg is going to be in a lot of pain this week. He's not going to want to be worked... so that will be loads of fun. He also had his teeth floated and his wolf teeth pulled AND all of his shots. I thought the vet bill was going to be ASTRONOMICAL but it wasn't as much as Brinkley's vet bill in February.

Poor guy really got it good this morning but he did great and it only took him like 15 minutes to shake off the sedatives.

It was really funny though because he couldn't walk a strait line for a while and his lips were numb... so he'd go to try and eat grass and his lips would just flap together. Then he would snort!

Anyway, it was a BEAUTIFUL morning and I had some much needed time with Don and it was fun being at the farm for the better part of the day... even though it involved my Lakota being tortured... :)

I'll have to post soon about Lakota's smoky noise! You know, Smoky the Smoke Monster from LOST... Lakota has his spooky noise down pat! Totally cracks Don and I up.

Maybe tomorrow!

LA :)

Saturday, March 21, 2009

When You Think You Are Getting To Sleep Late On A Saturday Morning...

and you have a child under the age of 10... BEWARE!



For this is what your child may choose for breakfast!!

*sigh*

LA :)

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Damn Statistics & Prognoses

Dad and Marilyn came to visit Friday afternoon. Dad had a long, tough week of appointments last week. Pet scan, biopsies, ultrasounds and then bad news. Right as he was driving into Knoxville, his surgical oncologist called with the news that his Melanoma had returned and it's on his stomach... internal!

This is not good!

The interferon treatment that Dad suffered through last year was suppose to drastically reduce the chance of recurrence... or to at least provide a greater length of time before recurrence.

So, it's back under the knife for Dad on March 24th!

He seems to be taking it far better than I ever would have thought! Marilyn not so much! Dad thought he was gonna have to take her to the ER after getting off the phone with the doctor. She pretty much had a panic attack and then fell apart totally when they got here.

She almost thought she was having a heart attack!!

We did a lot of research yesterday online. We don't know much yet... not sure if he's gonna do radiation again, interferon... hoping that immunotherapy might be an option. Results seem to be phenomenal with immunotherapy!

I'll update as things progress!!

But, I will say... the prognoses for recurrence so quickly and at a distant location (his original melanoma was on his scalp and Stage IV)... this melanoma is inside his stomach. Not sure what stage... but the statistics are grim.

Funny thing... Izzy on Grey's Anatomy has just gotten a grim diagnosis of Metastatic Melanoma. Her odds of survival more than a few months in TV land is less than 5%. But as one of her interns pointed out... the survival rate of getting the hiccups is 100% and a patient died on the show from the hiccups.

Strange things in life happen. We never know whats around the corner... what tomorrow holds.

None of us are promised tomorrow. But hopefully, my dad will have quite a few!

LA :)

Monday, March 9, 2009

I Hate How My Mind Works Sometimes

I've got one of those memory banks that is always thinking... "this time last year... this time last month... this time last week" etc. For happy memories, this serves me well and always brings a smile to my face. For less than happy memories, not so much!

Well, it was exactly a month ago this morning that I lost Belle. That hit me yesterday hard. I think I threw myself into finding a new horse so hard and Katie had a lot going on this past month and between these two pre-occupations, I don't think I really grieved.

I miss her.



I love Lakota! I rode him Friday... really rode him... cantered for almost an hour. He didn't even have a bit in his mouth that fit properly and he was still perfect! He loves attention, enjoys just hanging out. I don't think he thinks he is a horse until someone gets on him. He stands perfectly still when you are grooming him and tacking him up.

Since he is a gelding (boy), his reactions are far different. If something has him worried or upset, his nostrils flair and his breathing increases and sometimes he snorts. I've been told this is very common for geldings. With mares (girls), they will just flip their lid with no warning.

I like having a warning!

But there is part of me that honestly thinks at times that we still have Belle and Lakota too and then it hits me and the sadness sets in again!

Lakota is a people horse. He just loves people - he loves Katie, will follow her around like an 1100 pound puppy, loves Don and is totally submissive to him... LOVES everyone at the new farm.

But, Belle was my horse. She did things for me that she didn't/wouldn't do for others. She responded to me when she wouldn't respond to others.

I love Lakota but there will never be another Belle!

I miss her!

LA :(

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Lakota

Lakota
Definition:
Pronunciation:
\lə-ˈkō-tə\
Date:
1918
1 : a member of a western division of the Dakota peoples
2 : a dialect of Dakota; Sioux tribe
3 : a good friend

A good equine friend is what we are hoping for.



Some people have understood my search for another horse these past weeks and I know some haven't. My heart has been so broken by Belle's untimely death. It was tragic and even though I never saw her body - I've struggled to not have horrible images in my head.

I wasn't even sure that I could really bond with another horse. I knew Katie could and for Don - it's different! He enjoys being around horses and I think he's enjoyed the search for a new one... but for him, it's much different.

I had spent countless hours with Belle, in many ways trying to get her vices worked out so that she could eventually be a great horse for Katie as well as me. Belle was definitely a girls horse. She was too small for Don and the few times that Mike rode her it was odd. She was just a "girly" horse.

Well, we looked at quite a few. I fell in love with a horse named Pepper and she was the first horse that helped me realize that I could bond with another horse. But, she was going to foal in May which meant it would have been late summer before the colt or filly would be weaned and I could have her.

Then there was Silver, a pretty silver dapple Tennessee Walker in Seymour. She was a sweetheart on the ground, great with Katie and when one of the cowboy like older men rode her with spurs, she was wonderful. When I rode her - NADA. She didn't do anything I asked...

There were a few others... none a good fit. A horse named Sierra, a beautiful palomino named Zoe (I've ALWAYS wanted a palomino)... and then we drove quite a ways to see a jet black Tennessee Walker named Sadie. I had seen video of her and she was exquisite. She had been in parades, taken young girls 10-12 on trail rides... she sounded perfect. PLUS, this particular farm had more than 10 other horses available. Surely out of 11+ horses, there would be one that might be a good match.

Here is Sadie...



Of course, since Sadie was the one I'd been most interested in, when we went to this farm, they brought her out first. She had an adorable personality. She LOVED attention and she was great with Katie. An 82 year old man named Bud rode her for me. He was a character. He rode her without a bit first, neck reined her and said "this is a dead broke horse here..."

NOT! I was so excited and I got right up on her and rode her in this huge indoor track around the barn. Once I felt comfortable, I took her outside, rode her up a hill and when I turned around to head back - she reared up. It rattled me... I thought it was just a fluke so I let up on the reins and called for help. Once one of the owners Kim and Don were quick to get out there with me, I tried to get her to head back to the barn again and she reared up quickly three more times. I had to get off that horse! That was the end of my relationship with Sadie.

They brought out a few others... none of which were good fits with Katie so I didn't even ride. Then they brought out a gelding spotted saddle horse named Champ that was almost identical to Belle in his markings and looking into his eyes... it felt like looking into Belle's eyes. I immediately started crying. But Katie was already hooked.



He practically fell asleep with his neck on Katie's shoulder. He was so gentle and kind so after one of the guys rode him, Don rode him. Don loved how responsive he was so I hopped on. He would turn on a dime, and was so well mannered but when I got him into a fast walk and then into a canter... I thought I was gonna bounce off the saddle. For him to have been a gaited horse, he was so ROUGH and bouncy!

Don and Katie really wanted him but I was being very picky. If we were going to get another horse - it had to be one that was FUN to ride, really ride. One that was great around Katie. One that didn't have many vices to work through... there was criteria that I had.

We looked at a few more... I wasn't ready to commit. I was actually already a little depressed because I thought... either another horse now WAS NOT meant to be or the search would continue.

Then they brought out Lakota. Katie had already been talking to this guy in his stall. He is a paint (spotted colors) which is Katie's favorite. I think maybe the contrast with the white and black/brown. So Katie immediately started loving on him and they started showing us how great his ground manners were. He didn't even have to be cross tied or tied to a post to be tacked up. He just stood patiently. Then they rode him and he was beautiful.

But, he had piercing blue eyes. That really threw me. I've been around a horse with one blue eye before and it was just kind of weird for me. PLUS, he's big. Like Sunny big almost. He's 15.2hh and I wanted a horse in the 14hh range.

After they rode him for a bit, the convinced me to ride him. He looked so smooth, I agreed. I knew I DID NOT want this horse but I thought - I'll ride him and we will head on home.

I rounded the first corner and clucked once and he shifted into that fast walk and I clucked again and he shifted into a canter and I said "Oh my gosh, he's wonderful"... THAT WAS IT. I was sold. They couldn't get me off him.

He will hopefully make a great addition. I'm convinced that once he really bonds with us, he will be a horse like Sunny, one that Katie can ride all summer long and for many years to come.

I was already dreading this summer. Katie will have STAR and swimming but I really want something that will get us out of the house daily.

The farm I had found to move Belle to is just incredible. I've already been spending time there and making friends and it's FAR different than the farm where we had Sunny and Belle and then the farm where I had Belle.

I still have moments of breaking down over loosing Belle. She meant so much to me. Katie even still has a hard time with it and she wasn't nearly as close to Belle as she is Sunny.

I thought briefly about asking for Sunny back from STAR. She's still ours and we can have her back any time we want but STAR has put so much work into Sunny and she's doing great there... so that really wasn't an option.



Don is also very happy about Lakota. He's going to be a more versatile horse. He's very level headed, and I think he will be my horse... but Don and Katie will very much enjoy being around him and riding him as well... so even though he will be "mine" and I'll be doing most of the work with him... he will be a family horse.

Here's hoping Lakota brings us many years of happy memories!!

LA :)

Monday, March 2, 2009

Girls Just Need To Have Fun

And sometimes, that involves getting away for a bit!!

And, it was so nice to get away this past weekend with my best friend, Lisa and a new friend, Shara, who I am loving getting to know! We went with a great group of 14 other ladies to the mountains for a scrapbooking retreat!! It was so fantastic to get away for a few days!



Jen & Sarah from SITC did soooo much work for this retreat and it really made it so wonderful for everyone who went. The cabin was beautiful, the scrapping space was great, all our meals were provided, there was a hot tub, a DVD player for exercise videos and a lot of fun and a lot of laughter!!

I got to take a nice nap on Friday, got to do a little fun shopping with Shara and Lisa, I got 26 pages completed and came home more organized with my scrapbooking supplies... NICE!



Lisa is doing so great on her diet and looks fantastic! She is an inspiration to me to try and stay motivated!! We exercised Friday night after eating an 800 calorie lasagna dinner... lol! Everyone was laughing at us claiming that we didn't understand the meaning of the word "retreat".



I have brand new motivation to get these last dang 40 pounds off and to be exercising daily.

I actually had to come home early on Saturday night when everyone else was staying until Sunday. (I have been meaning to ask Lisa today if her and Shara exercised Saturday night after I left. I did my 3 mile walk when I got home).

I had to leave early because of Lakota's arrival... who is Lakota? More to follow in the coming weeks about him!

LA :)