I am trying so very hard to get in the Christmas spirit, find the Christmas spirit... let the Christmas spirit find me!
This past year has been sooooo very difficult and trying! We've been through so much with Katie, caring for my grandmother (finding her a facility, getting her condo cleaned out and the long, long process of working with the VA and State of Tennessee to try and come up with all the necessary funds for her care), my father fighting for his life battling a horrible diagnosis, loosing my little Maggie...
Then there is the stress that the REST of the world is dealing with (not just us) that also concern us... the economy, health care (our health insurance is horrible), the status of being self-employed right now and just the overall state of EVERYTHING.
Don and I watched this "Year In Review" program last night and it was going over all the things that happened in 2008 that were really newsworthy. Whether the stories were uplifting or troubling reminders... it made me stop and realize how much I have to be thankful for. I try to remind myself daily... but it looses it's hold quicker by the day.
We scaled Christmas WAY back this year because of the economy. That isn't why I can't find joy... "buying things" is fun at Christmas but it isn't what Christmas is about.
We have a nine year old... I should be full of joy... it's CHRISTMAS! Time for singing beautiful Christmas songs that I love so much, watching great Christmas movies old and new, baking cookies... looking forward to Christmas Day with my dad, Marilyn and Gran...
But I can't seem to do it. I can't seem to grasp the joy! I wont give up... there is still 36 hours to go until Christmas morning... maybe it will happen.
LA
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