Merry Christmas

I wish everyone a wonderful and blessed Merry Christmas! My dad and Marilyn are on their way, they will pick up Gran and be here by noon and we are going to spend the rest of Christmas day together! I'm so excited that my dad will be here.

It's 6:55am and I'm been up since 6am waiting and watching for Katie to wake up... she's such an early riser. But, no sounds yet. Yesterday was the best day we've had with Katie in weeks so hopefully we ARE on the down side of this and she is getting leveled out.

We really scaled back her Christmas this year but we always get her one gift that is her "big" gift that Santa leaves for her. This year, it's Biscuit. Even though we found Sophie a new home, we still have Hogan and Brinkley - who she adores but sometimes she wants them to play with her and they don't necessarily want to. Well she's been getting us to watch this commercial for three months... so this is her big gift this year.



We had fun getting him set up last night... Don maybe a little more so than me. It's amazing how "real" he is. He's like a little robotic Brinkley... only not as stubborn.

We all have a lot to be thankful for this Christmas... I continue to try and remind myself of that every morning before the chaos of the day sets in. Anyway, Merry Christmas to everyone!!

Much love,
LA :)

P.S. This shouldn't be a PS... it should have been at the beginning. One of my favorite things to do on Christmas Eve is to read the first chapter of Max Lucado's: God Came Near. Chapter One is The Arrival. Most of you know that I don't go to church anymore but you know I still have a very strong faith and I rely on that faith a lot. We all need to remember what Christmas is about... here is The Arrival.

"God Came Near"

(Written by Max Lucado)

The Arrival

The noise and bustle began earlier than usual in the village. As night gave way to dawn, people were already on the streets. Vendors were positioning themselves on the corners of the most heavily traveled avenues. Store owners were unlocking the doors to their shops. Children were awakened by the excited barking of the street dogs and the complaints of donkeys pulling carts.

The owner of the inn had awakened earlier than most in the town. After all, the inn was full, all the beds taken. Every available mat or blanket had been put to use. Soon all the customers would be stirring and there would be a lot of work to do.

One's imagination is kindled thinking about the conversation of the innkeeper and his family at the breakfast table. Did anyone mention the arrival of the young couple the night before? Did anyone ask about their welfare? Did anyone comment on the pregnancy of the girl on the donkey? Perhaps. Perhaps someone raised the subject. But, at best, it was raised, not discussed. There was nothing that novel about them. They were, possibly, one of several families turned away that night.

Besides, who had time to talk about them when there was so much excitement in the air? Augustus did the economy a favor when he decreed that a census should be taken. Who could remember when such commerce had hit the village?

No, it is doubtful that anyone mentioned the couple's arrival or wondered about the condition of the girl. They were too busy. The day was upon them. The day's bread had to be made. The morning's chores had to be done. There was too much to do to imagine that the impossible had occurred.

God entered the world as a baby.

Yet, were someone to chance upon the sheep stable on the outskirts of Bethlehem that morning, what a peculiar scene they would behold.

The stable stinks like all stables do. The stench of urine, dung, and sheep reeks pungently in the air. The ground is hard, the hay scarce. Cobwebs cling to the ceiling and a mouse scurries across the dirt floor.

A more lowly place of birth could not exist.

Off to one side sit a group of shepherds. They sit silently on the floor, perhaps perplexed, perhaps in awe, no doubt in amazement. Their night watch had been interrupted by an explosion of light from heaven and a symphony of angels. God goes to those who have time to hear him -- so on this cloudless night he went to simple shepherds.

Near the young mother sits the weary father. If anyone is dozing, he is. He can't remember the last time he sat down. And now that the excitement has subsided a bit, now that Mary and the baby are comfortable, he leans against the wall of the stable and feels his eyes grow heavy. He still hasn't figured it all out. The mystery event puzzles him. But he hasn't the energy to wrestle with the questions. What's important is that the baby is fine and that Mary is safe. As sleep comes he remembers the name the angel told him to use ... Jesus. "We will call him Jesus."

Wide awake is Mary. My, how young she looks! Her head rests on the soft leather of Joseph's saddle. The pain has been eclipsed by wonder. She looks into the face of the baby. Her son. Her Lord. His Majesty. At this point in history, the human being who best understands who God is and what he is doing is a teenage girl in a smelly stable. She can't take her eyes off him. Somehow Mary knows she is holding God. So this is he. She remembers the words of the angel. "His kingdom will never end."

He looks like anything but a king. His face is prunish and red. His cry, though strong and healthy, is still the helpless and piercing cry of a baby. And he is absolutely dependent upon Mary for his well-being.

Majesty in the midst of the mundane. Holiness in the filth of sheep manure and sweat. Divinity entering the world on the floor of a stable, through the womb of a teenager and in the presence of a carpenter.

She touches the face of the infant-God. How long was your journey!

This baby had overlooked the universe. These rags keeping him warm were the robes of eternity. His golden throne room had been abandoned in favor of a dirty sheep pen. And the worshiping angels had been replaced with kind but bewildered shepherds.

Meanwhile, the city hums. The merchants are unaware that God has visited their planet. The innkeeper would never believe that he has just sent God into the cold. And the people would scoff at anyone who told them the Messiah lay in the arms of a teenager on the outskirts of their village. They were all too busy to consider the possibility.

Those who missed His Majesty's arrival that night missed it not because of evil acts or malice; no, they missed it because they simply weren't looking.

Little has changed in the last two thousand years, has it?

Merry Christmas Eve

Seemingly, I'm much better than I was yesterday. Katie is doing MUCH better and hopefully on her way to being leveled out again. I woke up this morning at 5:45 and got up and went to Walmart, Target, Best Buy and Kroger. Mainly just getting a few little small things like stocking stuffers and then of course groceries.

There weren't many people out... it was still dark when I got to Walmart. That's the only time I can tolerate Walmart is when it's almost deserted. By the time I was heading home at 9am... it was starting to get crazy.

I'm starting to look forward to tonight... it will just be the three of us tonight. Then tomorrow morning, just the three of us but then my dad, Marilyn and Gran will get here about noon. Dad and Marilyn are coming from Florida and are going to get Gran on their way in.

I'm thankful that my dad is healthy for now and that we will be spending Christmas together! I'm thankful that Katie is doing better and as a result - all three of us are doing better! I'm thankful for many things and most of all... I'm thankful that I'm happy again that it's Christmas.

LA :)

Where are you Christmas spirit?

I am trying so very hard to get in the Christmas spirit, find the Christmas spirit... let the Christmas spirit find me!

This past year has been sooooo very difficult and trying! We've been through so much with Katie, caring for my grandmother (finding her a facility, getting her condo cleaned out and the long, long process of working with the VA and State of Tennessee to try and come up with all the necessary funds for her care), my father fighting for his life battling a horrible diagnosis, loosing my little Maggie...

Then there is the stress that the REST of the world is dealing with (not just us) that also concern us... the economy, health care (our health insurance is horrible), the status of being self-employed right now and just the overall state of EVERYTHING.

Don and I watched this "Year In Review" program last night and it was going over all the things that happened in 2008 that were really newsworthy. Whether the stories were uplifting or troubling reminders... it made me stop and realize how much I have to be thankful for. I try to remind myself daily... but it looses it's hold quicker by the day.

We scaled Christmas WAY back this year because of the economy. That isn't why I can't find joy... "buying things" is fun at Christmas but it isn't what Christmas is about.

We have a nine year old... I should be full of joy... it's CHRISTMAS! Time for singing beautiful Christmas songs that I love so much, watching great Christmas movies old and new, baking cookies... looking forward to Christmas Day with my dad, Marilyn and Gran...

But I can't seem to do it. I can't seem to grasp the joy! I wont give up... there is still 36 hours to go until Christmas morning... maybe it will happen.

LA

It's Already The Middle of December!!!

I can't believe it!! We've all been sick at the same time or one at a time since before Thanksgiving... it's been so yucky!! We did manage to get our tree up last weekend... we have really scaled down our Christmas this year. Some on purpose because of the economy and some not on purpose - we've not gotten to do near what we'd hoped with friends and family because of being so sick. *sigh*

Well, we still have 11 Days, 12 Hours, 27 Minutes so hopefully we will manage to pack in some fun stuff before the big day!! :)

Visit my friend Courtney's blog and leave a comment! She's doing a really nice thing.

We spent the evening last night with Gran. It's her 86th birthday... can't believe it! We took her a new TV because her old one finally just gave out. I had to go shopping and get her all new winter clothes and a coat because she's lost so much weight - her clothes were HUGE on her. So we descended on her like an early Santa and made her so happy.



We took her to Cracker Barrel for dinner. There are not a lot of choices in Rockwood, TN. But, we told the waitress it was her 86th birthday and they brought her a BIG dessert when we finished dinner and a lot of the waitstaff and the whole section of the restaurant we were in sang happy birthday to Mary! She got tears in her eyes and blew kisses at the end. It was so sweet.

It gets harder and harder to visit though sometimes. It took her a few minutes to recognize us last night. That is hard! Once she connected though - it was fine.

When we were leaving her, the nurse, Diane was going into her room to give her the nighttime meds and Diane said "Ms. Mary - did you have fun with your family?" and I heard my grandmother's voice break and she said "Oh, gosh it was just the nicest evening... it meant so much!"

So, of course, I cried all the way out to the car. In some ways, I miss her being "here" so much... here in Knoxville. We use to talk every day... until she started getting sick and then those talks grew harder and harder. Then all we did was worry about her living alone.

Outliving your mind is not a pleasant thing!

We are fixing to make some big changes with Katie. She is really struggling in school as I stated in an earlier posting. Kids are beginning to be very cruel to her. She is learning at a good pace - that is good but she is struggling more and more in the mainstream classroom. The majority of her quality work is done when she is working in the special ed classroom in a smaller group with more individualized assistance. Cedar Bluff doesn't have a CDC classroom... basically a full time special ed classroom so she is probably going to have to change schools. She has made some good friends and all the staff at Cedar Bluff knows and loves Katie dearly so this will be a big change.



Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. She's the bravest little girl I know! Even though she's been having such a hard time with her peers lately... she gets up every morning enthusiastic about going to school. But she told her teacher the other day that "she wished people would quit reminding her that she was a 3rd grader because sometimes her brain felt like she was still in kindergarten"... what kind of child who is struggling can be self-aware enough to make that analysis?

We just want what is best for her and what's best for her future!

LA :)

A Change Of Plans

Raising Katie is a joy but it definitely comes with challenges and heartbreak. Today we will be having another meeting at her school to discuss her future. She is really struggling socially and academically being in the mainstream classroom. I'm asking for your prayers and support as we make a very difficult decision... one that will hopefully be best for Katie but it breaks my heart!

I came across the following this morning and it brought tears to my eyes because it fit how I was feeling... just keep in mind that Don and I did know that we would be raising a child with multiple special needs... we did know.


From Jan
12/3
WELCOME TO HOLLAND

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Sophie

Well, outside of my poor husband having pneumonia now, our house is a little more sane and quiet.

We found Sophie a wonderful new home. She was never "suppose" to be with us... she was for my grandmother in North Carolina. I got her at my mom's request when their 14 year old Maltese, Molly passed away. My grandmother said NO... she didn't want another dog. We already had Sophie. We took her back because Katie was already so attached to her. So for the past two years, we've had Maggie (until this past March), Brinkley and Hogan.

For some bizarre reason, I looked at Craigslist Monday night under the "pets" section. Not that I was looking for us mind you... but there was an ad "Wanted: Cute house dog for a little girl".

Turns out that this little girl is 10 years old and lost her father a year ago. This family took in a stray dog 10 months ago and three months later the owner showed up. They were heartbroken.

The older, married sister is the one who placed the ad. We wrote emails back and forth, I sent pictures of Sophie and after being convinced that Sophie would be loved and have a good home... she went to her new home yesterday.

It was sad because we loved Sophie but we also felt sure she was going to a good home.

I got an email from the older sister this morning. They are totally in love with Sophie. She slept in bed with the younger sister last night and that is her new bed. She is being smothered with love and attention and my heart is very happy!!

LA :)